Validation

A quick reminder to cis allies about how small words of affirmation have an outsize importance on the lives of your trans friends.

Sunday, July 12, 2020 9:00 AM -04:00

I’m marking online summer school courses, which we open up not just to our usual adult learners but also to regular high school students seeking to earn credits over the summer. Whereas my adult learners always call me Kara, these students are defaulting to Ms. Babcock (and in some cases, through what hilarious assumptions I know not, Mrs. Babcock…).

I didn’t expect this to make me so happy, but it does. I think it’s the aggregate effect of seeing it so much, on so many assignment headers and “Dear Ms. Babcock, …” in emails. Y’all have been so good about calling me Kara, and I appreciate it, but there’s something extra affirming about this gendered honorific being applied so … casually to me.

I can’t speak for any trans person other than myself, of course, but I would wager that most of us like and crave words of affirmation. The particular words and phrases will vary from person to person—I personally love being called “girl” or “sister”, but probably don’t apply those to your non-binary friend unless they’re cool with it. If you ever think you are going overboard or laying it on too thick with your trans friend ……

I'm regenerating!

Friday, February 28, 2020 8:55 PM -05:00

My friends, the time has come for me to say, "Hello." But no lengthy introductions here, no cute anecdotes. Let's get into it.

I'm transgender. I am a trans woman. I am a woman.

My new name is Kara (Car-uh) and my pronouns are she/her. Yes, this includes when talking about or sharing things I've posted in the past, even though my old name is still on there. Check out my name policy for more clarification.

GIF of the 13th Doctor saying, 'I've had an upgrade, hi!'

I personally love the metaphor of regeneration for my transition, because it captures the intensity. It reinforces the adage of “the more things change, the more they stay the same.” Like the Doctor in Doctor Who, my appearance will change—and I’m excited for this (tights! dresses! OMG). Some of my mannerisms, idiosyncrasies, and behaviour will change; again, I’m excited to explore how I want to express myself and my femininity.

At the end of the day, however, each regeneration of the Doctor retains her essential personality traits: her commitment to social justice and equity, to science and curiosity. Likewise, I’m still the same person at my core, because I am not changing who I am. I am just finally recognizing and…

Fun, Food, and Friendship in Montréal

Thursday, September 12, 2019 11:33 AM -04:00

Last year I visited one of my best friends in her new town of Montreal. From pretty much the moment my plane landed in Thunder Bay at the end of that vacation, I was looking forward to returning again the next year. This summer has had its share of ups and downs, but nothing was going to deter me from getting to spend some time with Rebecca in person in Montréal again. So on August 16, I flew back to Montréal for some more fun, food, and friendship.

Fun

It’s safe to say we took everything we loved last year and doubled down on it. I’ll talk about the food separately in the next section of the post. But most of the fun simply came from being in Montréal and from walking around, both with Rebecca or on my own.

Rebecca lives in the Plateau, a very historical yet well-preserved residential neighbourhood, with Mont Royal Ave very close to her house. You could eat at a different place on that street every day for a year and still have options! We walked up and down Mont Royal so many times I lost count, both for shopping and food…

Ben and Becky take Montreal

I went on vacation to visit my friend Rebecca in her new city of Montreal, and I had an awesome, relaxing time.

Saturday, September 8, 2018 11:36 AM -04:00

Previously I mentioned how one of my best friends moved to Montreal in June. After working through the summer (yes, some teachers don’t have the summer off!), I had the last week of August for holidays. I chose to spend some of that time visiting Rebecca in Montreal, which was my first time going to that city.

I should mention before we get into the travel diary portion of this post: ironically, I think Rebecca and I have spent more time together since she moved away. (To her credit, she predicted this, and she was right.) We video chat so frequently, still watch Buffy together even more frequently than when she was in town—often synced up so perfectly I can listen to the audio through her mic and my computer speakers and mute my TV! Lately, she has taken to calling me on the phone (yes, actual voice calls without any audio component) most days … and … I actually kind of like it. I hate chatting on the phone; I find that without being able to see a person, I have more trouble remaining engaged in the conversation.

But … it’s just really nice to have friends in my…

Life in Cartoon Motion

Friday, July 27, 2018 10:26 PM -04:00

Every once in a while, someone remarks or asks of me, “Don’t you ever wish you could have lived in simpler times?” or something along those lines. And every time, my response is some version of, “Hell, no.” Setting aside the obvious benefits of clean drinking water (at least, in this part of Canada) and flush toilets, I am forever grateful to have the privilege of being able to stay in contact with people I’ve befriended no matter where they are in the world. In “simpler times”, if your friend moved overseas … well, that was it for visits. Maybe you would write, sure, and depending on the time and the weather your letter might make it. Maybe you could exchange telegrams. But modern telecommunications means I can literally hang out with a friend no matter the distance—just call them up, turn on the camera, and prop them up next to me on the couch. It isn’t quite the same as them being there in person … but it’s really damn close.

I’m grateful for this because one of the hardest lessons I’m learning as an adult is that I am very content to stay in this one place, yet…

One key fewer

Wednesday, June 28, 2017 6:35 PM -04:00

Hey, look, it’s been ten years since I graduated high school. Look at that. Time flies.

This post isn’t really about graduation decennials, though. This is about quitting my longest-held job.

Eleven years ago I dropped off a resume at the Thunder Bay Art Gallery. I was just finishing up Grade 11, and I wanted a summer job that wasn’t going through old files in the creepy storage room beneath the Chapple Building for my dad’s law firm. The Gallery Attendant position being advertised in the Lakehead University job bank seemed like it would work. I got an interview, and for reasons I still don’t fathom, I got the job.

The full-time, minimum wage job turned into a part-time, minimum wage job during my last year of high school. Then I worked all summer again. This pattern continued for a few years. After about three summers, I took a research job over the summer at the university instead. But I kept coming back during the school year to work at the front desk.

Last night was my last regular shift as a gallery attendant.

I’ve left before, of course. I couldn’t very well commute to the gallery when I…

Just K1, P1 for 1115 days

Tuesday, January 20, 2015 3:46 PM -05:00

I taught myself continental style last week, mostly on a whim.

I can say things like this, because I have become fairly proficient at knitting. See, today marks exactly three years since I learned how to knit.

Learning to knit changed my life. I never saw it coming. And since I started learning, I have never stopped.

So, why the continental style? I’m working on a second pair of Newfoundland mitts, as a request from a coworker at the Adult Education Centre, and the first step is to do 7 cm of ribbing. Ribbing is not difficult, but the constant shift from knit to purl can be annoying and is one of the things I am still quite slow at; while I was working on this, I happened to come across an article on a knitting blog comparing styles. It claimed that continental, among other things, is faster at ribbing (I know, I know, continental knitters—you think continental is faster at everything). Until now, I’ve always been satisfied with knitting English—but I’m also interested in expanding my knitting skills. Plus, the article made a compelling point in favour of mastering both styles: you can switch between them to…

Libraries make my day

Tuesday, September 23, 2014 11:43 PM -04:00

I feel the need to make note on this blog that I’m 25 now. Since Saturday.

I started a blog post last week about how I felt to be 25. Essentially it boiled down to “I don’t feel like an adult yet still” and then digressed into morose ruminations on the cognitive dissonance of being Facebook friends with people from high school I never talk to. It was entirely too serious and lugubrious considering that, on the whole, I’m feeling like I’m in a good place with my life right now. Maybe at some point I’ll revise the post to have a slightly more generalized, philosophical tone.

Instead, to mark my 25th birthday, let me talk about something that has been a major factor in shaping me as a person: reading, and more specifically, libraries. It’s Banned Books Week in the United States, and that seems like as good a time as any to talk about my bibliophilia.

I went to the library today—my second time since moving back home. The books I borrowed on my first visit were due today. I didn’t really need more books—my dad gave me quite a few for my birthday, and I bought…

Amsterdam travel diary: Monday

Monday, April 14, 2014 8:20 AM -04:00

We have two weeks off for Easter. Earlier this week, I went to Amsterdam for a few days with three other teacher friends. I’ve written some blog posts about our time there. We left Monday evening, and originally I wasn’t going to blog about that part of the trip, because it’s mostly travel. But Monday was a special day all by itself, and I need to record it.

Last year, around this time, I had shingles. In my eye. It wasn’t fun.

On the day before the last day of term, I went home instead of doing parents’ evening—I wasn’t feeling very well at all. I ended up staying home on Friday, barely able to get out of bed for the first part of the day. As Saturday rolled around, I seemed to be on the road to recovery … but my right eye started showing some signs of irritation. This worsened on Sunday, and on Monday morning, I phoned my surgery for an appointment with a doctor. I was worried the worst had happened: my shingles had come back. I wanted to get this treated as soon as possible, and I needed to know how it would affect my…

Missing winter

Sunday, March 9, 2014 1:13 PM -04:00

I’m wearing shorts right now.

Shorts. In March. OK, I wore shorts in March back in Canada—but towards the end of March, when the snow was actually melting. Today it’s so nice that I can go outside and sit in shorts and a T-shirt without so much as a jacket. Crazy.

A few weeks ago, I asked my dad to send me a photo of the snow back home so I could see what I was missing:

I was thinking about how students and teachers back in Thunder Bay had the day off school twice on the same week that I was enjoying a relaxing half-term break—once for Family Day on Monday, and then, as I learned through Twitter, on Friday for a snow day.

For Canadians, snow days are something magical—maybe even sacred—particularly for children. They are a gift: an unscheduled day off school, with a fresh helping of snow, just lying there, waiting to be transformed into a fort, a snowman, or even that elusive, perfect snowball. I relished snow days as a kid.

Last year over here in England, I experienced my first two snow days as a teacher. Now, a snow day in England is slightly…

It was my birthday and I didn't blog even if I wanted to

Monday, September 23, 2013 2:09 PM -04:00

I’m 24 now.

It’s not much different from being 23. I think I’ve changed a lot in a year. Last year I felt far too young to be a teacher. Now I’m jaded and cynical about the world of work!

It’s weird to think I’m a quarter of the way through my likely life-span. I’ve still got so much left to learn.

My birthday was actually on Friday. Another math teacher shares the same birthday with me (same year as well), so we were looking forward to celebrating our birthdays jointly. I arrived at school to find a present waiting for me outside my classroom. It was a brand new bow-tie, covered in pi symbols. Naturally, I put it on.

Another math teacher had brought in some store-bought cake, so we had cake at lunchtime in classroom. Oh, the joys of working on one’s birthday.

That evening I went to Norwich. I’m rather thankful that my birthday is near (but not at) the beginning of the school year: it’s a nice reminder to relax, unwind, and pick oneself up after the first few, heavy weeks of the new school year. This was the first time a number of we Canadian…

Home for the summer

Friday, July 26, 2013 8:12 PM -04:00

Well, I’m not home yet. As I write this, I sit in the basement of my grandparents’ home in Waterloo, Ontario. They are a nice stepping stone between England and Thunder Bay, and I elected to spend a few days with them before flying the second (and considerably shorter) leg back home.

But I am in the process of going home, which they say you can never do, but I’m a rebel that way. It has been a long schoolyear in many ways. In other ways, it feels like the year has gone by exceedingly fast. I am somewhat in awe that I have finished my first schoolyear as a teacher.

Travelling home begins with a two-part bus journey from Bury St Edmunds to Gatwick Airport. This takes about four and a half hours. I was excited about returning home for the summer, but as the bus pulled out of Bury, I had a slight feeling of melancholy. I’m attributing this to anxiety around travelling itself. This attests to how comfortable I’ve become in England, that leaving it for home evokes both anxiety and relief rather than simply the latter.

I’m not a fan of the entire process involved in…

Moving house

Sunday, April 21, 2013 6:35 AM -04:00

At the beginning of the month, I moved. I was quite happy with my current roommate and living arrangements at the time, but for reasons beyond my control, I needed a new place to stay. So on my first weekend off in the Easter break, I packed up the kipple of my life here in the UK and moved to a different place in Bury St Edmunds. Happily, the experience has been a positive one—I don’t like change, but this turned out to be change for the better.

My new place is ideally situated. It’s literally in the town centre. The major shopping centre and the high street are less than a few minutes’ walk away, as is the movie theatre and the bus station. The train station is ten minutes, if that, from my house. No more twenty-minute walks into the market on Saturdays! I didn’t mind those so much when it was sunny, but in times of rain or snow it wasn’t that much fun. And now, if I forget something, I can easily walk back to a store instead of wondering if I should just wait until next week.

My new roommate, Julie, is a woman with…

Playing host to herpes zoster

Tuesday, March 12, 2013 3:19 PM -04:00

It started the weekend before last. I woke up with my right eye slightly swollen and a little irritated. I groaned and worried I was developing conjunctivitis. Every since the half-term, I had been battling an epic cold that just wouldn’t go away, and a few times before, the toll such a cold takes on my hygiene has resulted in a bout of conjunctivitis at the tail end of the illness. I sighed and booked my first appointment with a doctor since I moved here and registered with a surgery, wondering if I would need to take work off on Monday in order to keep it.

Monday came round, and it brought more bad news. When I woke up, the swelling around my eye had turned into a tiny, bumpy white rash. I knew there was no way I could go in to work, so I called in sick, sent in some cover work, and composed myself for my appointment. The doctor saw me promptly, took a look at my eye, and told me I had shingles. Good thing I went to the doctor so quickly after developing the symptoms! He was able to put me on antivirals.

Well,…

You can go home again

Friday, January 4, 2013 11:36 AM -05:00

I’ve spent the past eleven days back home in Thunder Bay, enjoying my break and catching up with friends and family. It has been good. I have reconnected with our cats, who began merrily disassembling the Christmas tree one ornament at a time approximately an hour after we put it up. I saw my 3.5-year-old nephew and gave him some gifts courtesy Scotland. I hung out with my mom, watching movies and drinking tea and baking cinnamon buns. And I did much the same with my dad, minus the cinnamon bun part (he did bake two pumpkin pies, though, while I happened to be in the house—does that count?). I saw a few groups of friends, learned how to play Cards Against Humanity, Munchkin, and a few other fun games. Good times.

Now they are over, and I fly back to Toronto in slightly more than four hours. From there, I take an 8 pm flight back to England and a four hour coach trip up to Bury. Perhaps my least favourite part of travelling (aside from the travelling) is how much time it consumes! However, there is nothing I can do about that. I can only make…

Teaching and Twitter

Sunday, December 9, 2012 10:59 AM -05:00

So, my students finally found me online.

Seriously, what took you so long?

Not to boast, but I’m easy to find online. There are few enough Ben Babcocks that my various accounts, not to mention my website, eventually show up sometime on a Google search. So I knew it was just a matter of time.

Knowledge of my online presence has spread quite quickly. I’m not that bothered. Long ago I made a decision to discard anonymity. While it’s a valid option, I found that in my case I wanted to be able to keep my online and offline lives as closely linked as possible. I knew that, with my chosen profession, this might pose some difficulties. However, it also provides a few opportunities as well.

After all, we are still figuring out privacy in the digital age. Having hit its 20th anniversary this year, the Web remains relatively new. My generation is among the first to grow up with it as a professional platform for self-promotion, self-aggrandizement, and self-expression. We have to suss out what is private versus what is personal. The bottom line, though, is that we are unquestionably making more information available in public (or to…

Blaaargh. Sick.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012 4:17 PM -05:00

Being sick really throws off my routine. And I love my routine.

I had planned to write one or two more posts about my Scotland trip. But I’m behind, because since last Thursday I have been ill with some kind of chest cold that has since metamorphosed into a head cold. I am feeling better relative to Thursday and Saturday but am still under the weather. I took my first sick day on Tuesday, and I returned today to avoid the compounded chaos of a second day of supply teachers. I don’t regret this decision—I think I did some good—but it was definitely a difficult day. I finally have some ginger ale and Sudafed, though, which helps.

Sickness does not necessitate silence, though, so here I am! Hi. Also behind on book reviews, even though I am still reading quite a bit. I look forward to Christmas break not just because I am happy to visit home but also because I might finally have enough time to get back on my feet, digitally speaking, and stay there for most of next term! Let’s hope.

Anyway, I’m going to relax for a bit now and then go to sleep.

I'm an adult now

Sunday, October 7, 2012 7:02 PM -04:00

I’ve had a good run. Aside from the last period of Friday last week, my last two weeks have been good. It’s still difficult and exhausting, but I’m still surviving!

I am still coming to terms with the significance of this new chapter in my life, and last Thursday hammered this home. We had an Open Evening, where children from Year 6 and their parents tour the school prior to deciding where to go for Year 7. We teachers were expected to stay there and represent our departments, and so I ended up not getting home until around 9:30. In the hours between the end of the school day and the start of the event, I was hanging around in the staff room and my room, marking and otherwise marking time. And it occurred to me that I was actually a teacher.

Yes, I’ve been a teacher for a while now—at least on paper, and perhaps even in practice. But it still hadn’t sunk in. With these events in the past, even if I were there helping out as a student, I was still a student. I wasn’t privy to the behind the scenes featurettes in the staff room. That…

Life in England: It goes on

Monday, September 24, 2012 5:26 PM -04:00

Welcome to the first of what will hopefully be more frequent (albeit probably shorter) updates! I have been meaning to write this post since the beginning of last week, but every night seemed like a good night to procrastinate. My reading is also suffering, as those of you who follow my reviews on Goodreads have probably noticed. This too shall pass.

I’m firmly ensconced in teaching now: school is in session, I’ve learned all my students’ names (much to our mutual surprise), and I have found a few more bow ties. I’m absolutely, incredibly, indescribably exhausted almost all the time. This is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. (To be fair, though, it’s not like I’ve done much with my life so far.) I rather expected it would be, and I’m not trying to complain (too much). I’m just not sugar-coating it or allowing myself to have any illusions: this is a demanding, challenging, stressful job. I care a lot, which is good and is what will help me be a great teacher—but it also means I have to be careful not to burn myself out with planning and worrying. The old adage “work smarter, not…

Living in Bury St Edmunds: Arrival

Wednesday, August 22, 2012 5:31 PM -04:00

Hello from England!

My flight to Gatwick was uneventful—I kind of knew what to expect this time. Several teachers I had met from my iday experience were on an Air Transat flight the same night, but I flew Sunwing. I met up with another Canadian teacher, Josie, teaching at the same school as me. Unfortunately, this flight was not any better than the last when it came to getting sleep. I’m not supremely tired (it’s 10:20 pm local time as I write this), but I know I will sleep well.

Jodie (not to be confused with Josie), the teacher who put me in touch with my new roommate, is staying here for a few weeks while looking for a new place for her and her husband Ian. Ian is arriving on Tuesday with their dog. I don’t mind having extra people in the house, especially because I’ve already met them, and I think it will make it easier for me to get settled in here. Jodie, having lived for several months already, is certainly a valuable resource. She showed me the way to a nearby superstore (called Asda) so I could stock up on groceries and…

Moving preparations

Friday, August 10, 2012 12:40 PM -04:00

It is hard to believe, but in less than two weeks I will be moving away from Canada to teach in England. What started as a possibility in January has swiftly become a solid reality. Over the last few weeks I’ve received my visa, received my Ontario College of Teachers certification, and booked my flights to Toronto and London. I also made a somewhat unwise trip to the library, where I acquired enough books that I have to read about 1 per day until I leave—hence the marked increase in frequency of reviews lately.

I leave for Toronto on August 21 at around 3:45 pm. We land a little after 5 pm, and my flight to London–Gatwick airport departs around 10 pm. There’s at least one other teacher going to the same school as I am on this very flight, although I haven’t met her in person yet. I’m planning to meet up with a few of the people I know from the iday who are also flying on that day, albeit with a different airline.

I should arrive at Gatwick around 10:30 am local time on August 22, where someone from Engage Education is picking us up.…

Sailing off the edge

Thursday, March 15, 2012 11:49 AM -04:00

Last Thursday I wrote my final exam as an undergraduate university student. This marks the end of my formal schooling (for now). I have this week off, which is a welcome break and short vacation, and then I begin my second five-week practicum. Come the last full week of April, I will be finished completely. No more assignments. No more tests. I’ll be a transcript and some bureaucratic processing away from being a certified teacher.

I have mixed feelings about being finished school. On one hand, it is a relief. This last term of classes went by slowly. Many of my friends remarked that they were not getting much from their classes this time, that they were anxious to get back out in the field or to be done … and I can see whence this line of reasoning comes, and I agree in part. We had an intense conversation about this in my Philosophy of Education class, about how we would redesign the teacher education program if we could. All of us spoke with the voices of very tired teacher candidates.

On the other hand, it is also terrifying. This is it. When I entered university, I entered as…

So I knit now

Saturday, February 25, 2012 3:11 PM -05:00

So I’m knitting now.

Katie, a friend I have made among my class of teacher candidates, is an avid knitter. (Her teachables also happen to be the same as mine—math and English—how cool is that?) Eventually our conversations about her knitting culminated in an offer to teach me how to knit. I was not digging for this—the thought had honestly never crossed my mind. I used to do some very basic cross-stitching, but my ability to do things with my hands (aside from typing) has always been minimal. Knitting seemed like a daunting skill to learn.

So I said yes, of course. I had an ample supply of yarn left over from my cross-stitching days. When Katie returned to Thunder Bay after the Christmas break, we went shopping for a perfect set of needles and searching for a perfect beginning pattern. We eventually decided upon this hat pattern, which has the advantage of being knit flat and being done entirely in knit stitch (no purling). Another professional year friend, Hélène, deterred me from starting with a scarf: as she put it, a scarf is long and boring and repetitive; I needed a beginning project that was easy enough…

How I read so much

Friday, December 30, 2011 11:09 PM -05:00

The year is almost over, and unless I finish a book tomorrow, it looks like I will end 2011 with 115 books read. Not too shabby, I suppose. Far cry from my goal, which was to tie with 2009’s best of 156 books. But still pretty good, all things considered. Indeed, from time to time people exclaim their awe at how much I read. I don’t like to draw too much attention to the quantity, which is after all no indicator of quality, because it feels too much like bragging. But today someone on Goodreads asked me how I manage to read so much, and as I was composing my reply, I realized it was getting too lengthy. Lengthy enough for a blog post, in fact.

It’s quite simple. I have a time machine, you see, and that allows me to go back in time and spend more time reading throughout the day….

Well, I wish that weren’t so much science fiction!

Last year, which was a very good year for me, I averaged 2.6 days per book; this year I have been slightly busier, so I took 3.1 days per book. Considering that most people, i.e., people who do…

Student teaching, come and gone

Friday, December 9, 2011 10:31 PM -05:00

My practicum is over.

But you might not have known it had even started. I kept meaning to blog about my experiences in my “professional year”, and then when my practicum began, about that. Yet I never got around to it. This has been my busiest year in long memory, and my practicum kept me busier than ever. So hopefully a short recap will suffice.

First, professional year—the first nine weeks. I enjoyed most of my classes. There was a lot more reading and many more assignments than I was used to in my previous years, which mostly consisted of weekly math assignments and the occasional essay. But my classes have raised important issues I need to consider as a teacher, and they have prepared me well for teaching. (I still hate group work.)

Now, the practicum. I was lucky with my assignment. I went to a local high school, to the math department. In fact, my associate teacher was the same teacher in whose classroom my group had taught a “mini-lesson” for my math instruction course. So I had already met her, and she had already seen me teach (sort of). This reduced my trepidation as I went into…

Learning to look past my privilege and listen

Monday, October 10, 2011 3:59 PM -04:00

I keep meaning to write a more general post about my experience in professional year, but other things always seem to be happening. Such a post will happen eventually. Or maybe it won’t, and I’ll look back at this blog three years from now and wonder what I thought about learning how to teach—except that, hopefully, the threads of what my nascent personal philosophy of pedagogy will be visible in some of these posts. Now that I am fast approaching that moment when I can call myself “teacher”, I am always thinking about how I am going to teach. And everything I read or watch or see relates to that, in some way.

Take Slutwalk, for instance. We talked about this in my Media, Education, and Gender class last week. We discussed it in relation to violence against women and how to prevent sexual assault, as well as the implications of “reclaiming” a word like slut. Indeed, we asked some very interesting questions: who can reclaim the word, and why would that group want to do so? The N-word was brought up as a comparison. So imagine my surprise when, this weekend, Slutwalk and the N-word intersected…

Why I love math

Sunday, September 11, 2011 9:29 PM -04:00

Tonight a friend on Facebook asked me: why do you like math? I knew that any suitable answer to that question would be a long one, and as I was cooking at the time and logged into Facebook chat on my phone, and so I deferred. After dinner I began typing a response on Facebook, but then I realized that this is worth its own blog post. I think it’s evident from this blog that I do love math, but I seldom pause to discuss why I love it.

This is what I said three years ago:

For those who don’t understand how someone can be so excited about math, the best way I can describe it is like being closer to God. I don’t necessarily believe in God, but I imagine that what I feel when I’m exploring mathematical concepts is the same feeling pious people get when they do whatever it is pious people do to feel closer to God. And math truly is the language of the universe. If God does exist, in one form or another, then understanding math helps one understand the universe and, in a way, get closer to God and creation.

Well,…

Updated my “About Me” page

Monday, August 22, 2011 6:17 PM -04:00

I have rewritten my “About Me” page. It has needed some updates for a while now. I focused on making the page briefer while keeping it informative. Now people who come to my site can know who I am in a few paragraphs. If they need to know me more deeply, they will know where to stalk me.

Also, the page now includes an excellent photo that portrays my love of math and silliness. The photo comes from back in May. Our mathematics resource room received new carpet, so Aaron, Rachael, Tim, and I were drafted to remove all the books from the room and store them in our office until the carpet was replaced. Then we reshelved all of the books, and posed for some silly photos. I've long wanted to put a photo of myself on that page, but until now I didn’t have any that seemed adequate. I was browsing my Flickr feed in the hope of finding something suitable when this gem appeared; the moment I saw it, I yelled, “Yes!” and laughed maniacally.

I am bereaved: rest in peace, my cat Marble

Sunday, August 21, 2011 11:07 PM -04:00

This morning, we had two cats. Their names were Marble and Kaylee; they were sisters. I don't remember exactly when we got them, for I was very young, but they must have been 12 years old or even older. So they have been around for most of my life now, and I have grown accustomed to their curmudgeonly feline ways. Upon moving into our newest residence in 2007, Marble took up the habit of sleeping on my bed, while Kaylee appropriated my new reading chair for herself. These arrangements continued for another three and a half years.

As of this afternoon, we have one cat. Marble died sometime around two o'clock, by my reckoning. I am sorry to see her go, but she was old and ill, and I suppose it was her time.

For about a year now, Marble has not been well. She was having difficulties using the litter box, but the vet could not find anything wrong with her—our options were, essentially, switch her to some new fattening food or put her down, and I think it's obvious there was only one option there. We tried this, and meanwhile Marble seemed stable—she did not improve, and despite…

Now the summer begins

Tuesday, August 16, 2011 9:08 PM -04:00

Last Friday marked the end of my summer research term. For reasons I don't entirely understand and don't need to understand, Jessica made a pie to celebrate the milestone. It was raspberry (my favourite fruit) and, more importantly, it was delicious. This summer feels like it has gone by extremely quickly, and I'm not yet eagerly anticipating school. I have two weeks off now, returning early on August 29 to begin the intense final year of my concurrent education degree. My schedule does not seem all that bad, as far as classes go, but I'm not sure what the workload will be like—I hear it's heavy but not difficult.

As far as my research goes, I can't help but compare this summer to last summer. Overall, I was not as interested in my project this time around—it's the same project, so it is no longer fresh. Working on it on a full-time basis for 16 weeks was intense. This year was also quieter around the office; Jessica was not around as much, and Rachael had a research project, but it only lasted eight weeks. Aaron came in pretty consistently several days a week, despite not being on any kind of…

Next year I kind of enter the adult world

Tuesday, March 22, 2011 8:48 PM -04:00

I'm almost finished my fourth year of university, and with it, my HBA in Mathematics. It doesn't feel like four years! It feels like barely yesterday I was a nervous first-year student trying to figure out how to get around our campus (which I now realize is tiny compared to other campuses).

I won't be graduating at the end of the year, because I'm actually in a five-year concurrent education program. For those of you unfamiliar with it and with teaching certification in Ontario, let me give you a brief run down. Instead of completing my mathematics degree and then doing a one-year education program ("consecutive education" or colloquially known as "teacher's college" around these parts), I have for the past four years been enrolled in concurrent education. As the name implies, I'm taking education courses concurrently with the courses I need for my math degree. So at the end of the five years, assuming I complete the program, I'll have an HBA in Mathematics and a BEd. In Ontario, teachers are certified to teach in a specialization defined by grade level. Mine is "Intermediate/Senior," or I/S, which means grades 7-12. I really want to teach high school, but…

I can haz conference?

Tuesday, January 25, 2011 5:40 PM -05:00

This Friday, Saturday, and Sunday I attended the eighth annual Combinatorial Algebra meets Algebraic Combinatorics Conference. No, I didn't record awesome video diaries as I did when I attended the 2010 Canadian Undergraduate Mathematics Conference. I did meet many experts in these fields, listened to interesting talks that I didn't really understand, and gave a talk of my own!

Combinatorial algebra and algebraic combinatorics are, as the conference's title and purpose expresses, two sides of the same mathematical coin. They are areas of mathematics that combine techniques from combinatorics and abstract algebra (notably, commutative algebra) to solve a variety of problems in algebra, combinatorics, and even algebraic geometry. Now, these fields are specialized. I got the impression that even among the thirty or so graduate students, postdocs, and professors in attendance, many of them were struggling to keep up with some of the talks, because the topics in this area, as with any specialized field, can get pretty esoteric. One fellow gave a talk on cluster algebras, and the room was rather silent when it came time for questions.

Still, it was exciting to attend the conference even though I, as an undergraduate student with only two courses…

Swype: The compromise between QWERTY familiarity and touchscreen elegance

Wednesday, December 22, 2010 3:32 PM -05:00

Back in grade four, something miraculous happened. Our class at Isabella Street School descended down to the library, which was nestled in one corner of the unappealing, rather dingy cement and concrete basement. I already loved the library, and reading in general, by that time. It was through this library that I devoured those Hardy Boys books that my dad did not have, read my way through Nancy Drew, had my first experiences with Tolkien and Lewis and, in later years, Agatha Christie. There were several shelves full of colourful books on mythology when I went through that phase, and even a pop-up book about Star Trek, a copy of which I bought for $10 on Abebooks during a bout of nostalgia in the summer, which has not actually arrived yet, and now it occurs to me I should probably ask someone about that....

But I digress. On that fateful day, my grade four class was not there to browse the bookshelves and sit at our octagonal tables in chairs now much too small for me. No, we instead turned left at the doors to populate the "computer lab." This must have been 1998 or 1999, so the…

Your holiday relaxation program commences in 3, 2, 1...

Tuesday, December 21, 2010 11:13 AM -05:00

It is snowing outside. This is both wonderful and terrifying. Wonderful because snow is awesome. I love living in a country, and a part of the country, that experiences all four seasons in vibrant technicolour and Dolby Digital surround sound. Winter here means minus forty below, winds, snow in the air and on the ground, and plenty of shovelling. Terrifying because this means I may have to shovel in the future--I like shovelling; I hate contemplating the future acts of shovelling. Once I'm doing it, I'm OK.

School is over now, for two weeks. I had my last examine a week ago. It went well, I think, though I don't have my marks yet. I feel good about it (Complex Analysis), and I feel good about the one prior to it as well (Medieval and Tudor Drama). The rest of the week could have been relaxing in theory, but in practice it was consumed by invigilating an exam on Thursday and then helping the instructor to mark said exam on Friday. Oh my. Six hours of that--and yes, I know, I will have to do this when I become a teacher. But I'm not a teacher yet.

As I …

I have an Android phone!

Saturday, December 4, 2010 12:13 AM -05:00

As I have mentioned in the past, I am a fan of Android, Google's operating system for smartphones. I'm a fan without having ever owned a smartphone, let alone an Android phone. As of last week, my friends, that has all changed.

My carrier, TbayTel, recently signed a deal with Big Bad Teleco Rogers, in which TbayTel takes over all of the Rogers customer and infrastructure in the area, and everyone gets access to HSPA phones and a 3G network. The upshot of this, as it relates to me, is that TbayTel now has a good many more smartphones, including several running Android. Cue the drooling.

Last Monday, my father and I braved the crazy lineup at the store to purchase me a Samsung Galaxy S Captivate, which was $150 with a three-year contract. It is running Android 2.1, Eclair, and so far it is awesome.

I debated getting a new phone for all of three hours when I heard the news. My old phone, which was my first phone, was an LG 6200. It worked fine, aside from some interesting glitches with the contact management, but there were two drawbacks: firstly, I had no way of connecting it…

Spontaneous snowfall, spontaneous snowballs

Monday, November 15, 2010 12:41 AM -05:00

I always forget that November is a busy month. October lulls me into a false sense of security, for despite its containment of midterms, it never really has much work for me. Then November comes around, and suddenly it's whoa. Where did all this homework come from? Oh, and I'm working all weekend for a fundraising event at the gallery? Great.

This weekend was probably my busiest weekend of the year in terms of inverse amount of free time available to me. I spent the week working on an essay for my Medieval and Tudor Drama class, which I love. The prof is great, and I'm learning a lot and reading literature I probably wouldn't otherwise read. The essay was originally due Friday, but the prof extended it to Wednesday, which is a great relief. I'm feeling confident about it, but the extra time has helped.

So yeah, this weekend was the art gallery's annual Christmas House Tour fundraiser. This consists of a self-guided tour of houses decorated by local businesses. Today was the tour proper, so we had to work 9-5 for that. Friday night was the dinner for the home owners, and I worked that with Brittany.…

Belated birthday post

Sunday, October 10, 2010 4:04 PM -04:00

This is a very belated birthday-related blog post. I started writing about my birthday the day after the fact, but I got sidetracked and never quite managed to finish the post. I need to start blogging again, because I have plenty to say. So we'll begin with my birthday.

I don't celebrate my birthday with a lot of fanfare. However, I also don't sweep it under a rug like the curmudgeon in me is wont to do. I enjoy getting gifts, but that's true regardless of whether it's my birthday! Still, I got some pretty cool gifts from my family members. My dad got some books, as well as a whopping stack of Chapters gift cards, which are like candy you can use to buy books. My brother got me a mug with a stylized police badge that says "Spelling Police," as well as some tea. In particular, he got me a type of South American tea called Yerba Maté; I can't pronounce that name, so I just call it "panther tea," because the box has a panther on it. Incidentally, this is also why my brother selected that tea. In his own words: "Panthers are manly."

I'm 21 now,…

Summer endings, September beginnings

Friday, September 3, 2010 4:32 PM -04:00

Hello September. I have missed you. You might be my favourite among all months, but don't tell the others. And no, it's not because my birthday is in September (although that helps). Nor is it because September signals the start of fall television, with new episodes of Castle, Chuck, House, Stargate Universe, etc. More than any other month, even that notorious January, September is a month of changes and new beginnings. For those of us biased in our perceptions by our position in the northern hemisphere, summer will soon be a memory; the leaves will change colour; and I'll be back in school, where I belong.

I spent this summer doing research and quite enjoyed it. We didn't make as much progress toward a solution as I had hoped, but I learned a lot, both about mathematics and research in general. I'm comfortable using LaTeX (which is sexy) and have had some experience with Macaulay2 (also pretty hot). I even went to a conference, something that surprised me.

With my research finished, I have these two weeks off before school begins on September 13. Next week I return to work at the art gallery. I don't…

On romance and genre in literary criticism

Friday, July 23, 2010 9:59 AM -04:00

Hello, my name is Ben, and I am a genre snob. Or at least I was. I'm trying to quit, but as fellow genre snobs can attest, it is not easy to surrender culturally-inculcated notions of genre and embrace a more nuanced approach. Still, I need to try. For the children!

This week I read Amanda Scott's Tempted by a Warrior, which I won in a Goodreads giveaway. Had I paid more attention when entering the giveaway, I would have noticed that the book is historical romance, not merely historical fiction, and passed. I didn't notice, however, and I won the book. As I prepared to write my review, I discussed the book with a friend--who, as it happens, reviews paranormal, romance, and even paranormal romance((You didn't see that one coming, did you?)) for one of those review sites to whom publishers send books with the eager trepidation marketing people perfect after too many years in college.

I opened the conversation by quoting one of the sex scenes in the book:

Me: There is a list of words that automatically ruin sex scenes for me, and "tempestuous" is one of them. Her: I can't imagine why. Me: Aside from
…

No sugar tonight

Saturday, July 3, 2010 11:51 PM -04:00

Last week, I discussed how maths is hard, but I spent plenty of time solving a Rubik's cube anyway. At this rate, you are going to get the idea that I don't do any work at all. Nevertheless, a desire for accuracy and lulz requires me to remain truthful regarding how I spent this week in the office.

We made a piñata.

We named him Stanley the Resurrection Pig.

I don't recall who came up with the initial idea. As with all good, crazy plots, it starts off as an innocuous hypothetical scenario: piñatas equal fun, fun equal good, we could make a piñata! This is the last week all four of us will be in the office together--Aaron, Rachael, and I are going to Waterloo next week for a conference, and Jessica is off to Ireland, returning only after Aaron and Rachael's contracts are finished. So if ever there was a time to set aside the math papers and construct a papier-mâché animal, then savagely beat it to a pulp, this was that time.

None of us are piñata-making experts, and that was probably for the best. Rachael had some experience with papier-mâché--also for the best--so we made…

Music must change

Tuesday, June 22, 2010 10:38 AM -04:00

I like to joke with my friends about how easy I have it this summer. I'm sitting in a cozy little office with a fan, proximity to a kettle, and a high-speed Internet connection. Unlike a summer research student in, say, chemistry or biology, I don't have to manipulate lab equipment or sex fruit flies (Cassie :P). The extent of my experimentation will involve uploading programs to a high-powered computing network and asking it kindly to compute a few more numbers for me. I Google math papers relevant to my problem, try to understand what they say, and see if I can come up with my own ideas. One thing I love about math research, especially in my area of interest, is how much it's thought. All I really need is a blackboard and chalk, or pencil and paper. (That being said, the high-powered computing network does help when I get to the computation step!)

Of course, it's not all fun and games (even though I did learn how to solve a Rubik's cube last week). Maths is hard! And right now, even though I've been in university for three years, I feel like an amateur groping around an unsolved…

Guitar and pen

Monday, June 7, 2010 9:54 AM -04:00

Yes, yes, I know. At this rate, my weekly recap will become bi-weekly. I didn't do a lot the week before last, owing to Victoria Day making for a shortened week. So rather than two very short blog posts, I decided to forbear and write one short blog post instead.

The last two weeks have been more reading, more learning, and a little thinking. I hesitate to ascribe a label like "productive," since it's hard to quantify. I think I understand my problem now, but there remains a lot for me to learn in order to start trying solutions.

I tried running the original algorithm for computing the spreading number, which was written in CoCoA, on my computer. I had hoped that my 2 GB of RAM and 1.83 GHz processor would have enough memory to compute some additional numbers. Alas, CoCoA stubbornly crashed (after several long hours) each time I instructed it to do so.

So I ported the code to Macaulay2. It's even slower, which makes me suspicious that I'm missing something--after all, I am learning both languages, so I'm sure that in transliterating the code I managed to miss an obvious way to make it…

You ain't seen nothing yet

Wednesday, May 26, 2010 12:06 PM -04:00

Shorter entry this week, as I didn't do much new and exciting in week 2 of my research project. I'm still having fun, but because it's so early in the summer, that fun mostly takes the form of reading.

As tweeted earlier, the secret to reading (and understanding) math papers is simple. First, always read it twice. Then read it again. But to make sure you really understand, you need to take notes. Write down what's implicit in the paper, the steps the author leaves out because "it is obvious" or "it is clear to the reader" or, even worse, "this has been left has an exercise for the reader." Once you've done that, the final step is to read the paper again.

I spent all week reading two papers, one of which expands on the findings of the other. The first investigates the spreading and covering numbers in relation to the ideal generation conjecture. Much of the paper goes over my head. Nevertheless, there were some very useful figures, and the use of graph theory in one paper and set theory in another helped improve my comprehension of what these numbers are. The second paper, in particular,…

Start me up

Monday, May 17, 2010 7:47 PM -04:00

I am now into the second week of my NSERC summer research project. So far, I'm having a lot of fun. The subject of my research is interesting and exactly the type of mathematics that I want to study. The "daily grind," such as it is, does not grind at all--it helps that there are three other undergraduate students doing research this summer, and we all share the sessional lecturer office. We can distract each other, when needed, and pick each other's brains for help with particularly puzzling proofs.

So what exactly am I doing? Well, it's esoteric even for those who enjoyed math up until the first years of university. I'm going to drop some math jargon in the next few paragraphs, so don't worry if your eyes start to glaze over. Photos and hilarious video will follow!

Since my prof was leaving town at the end of the week, we met several times so he could give me some lectures and we could discuss my project. The work I'm doing relates to ring theory, which is a course I took nearly two years ago, so I have a lot of review to do. Most of the week,…

Boldly going forward, because we can't find reverse

Saturday, April 17, 2010 11:11 AM -04:00

Last night, all four of us who work at the front desk went out for dinner and bowling. I don't go out that much--and in fact, I probably spend more time hanging out with these three at work than I do going places with my other friends. But it was Brittany's last weekend in town, because she's biking back home to Guelph next week. So we had one last hurrah--and a little bit more.

First we went to Applebee's, which is pretty much the baseline measurement for normality on this outing. I had a steak that was supposed to be medium but was rare and soggy French fries. Thea and Dayna had more luck with their pasta dishes, and Brittany made quick work of her sizzling fajitas. Surprisingly, they appeared as advertised and were actually sizzling. There was also spicy rice, which she saved for another friend, because she didn't like it. More on that later. Many stories were exchanged that cannot, of course, be repeated here. Brittany and I ordered desserts while Thea and Dayna demurred; I got a chocolate chip sundae, and Britany made the better choice of a delectable soft brownie. That was probably the best food…

Summer scoop: I have an NSERC grant!

Wednesday, February 24, 2010 10:05 PM -05:00

This January, I applied for a summer Undergraduate Student Research Award (USRA) from the Natural Sciences & Engineering Research Council (NSERC). Lakehead University has 20 such awards to give to applicants this year, and on Monday, I learned that I am the recipient of one!

I was (still am) a mixture of elation and trepidation. Part of me is still in a state of shock and can't quite believe that this is real. I spend a good half hour after learning I got the grant just trying to calm down so I would not run up to everyone I encountered and yell, "I GOT A GRANT!" Another part of me is saying, "What do you think you're doing, Ben? You don't even understand what it is you're going to be researching!" As anyone who has ever looked at a higher math textbook knows, the language is just scary sometimes.

I applied for the NSERC grant for two reasons. Firstly, it's a different summer employment opportunity than my default, which is the art gallery. Don't get me wrong: I love working at the gallery. You can't beat the hours, and I have an awesome boss--she took the news that I wouldn't…

Battle scars

Monday, February 8, 2010 2:05 PM -05:00

Some people I know lead off their blog posts with massive photos of the minute and the mundane, photos that set the mood for the entry that follows. So I'm going to be a copycat and do the same. Muwahahaha.

There are some objects that, against all odds, manage to stay with us through childhood, adolescence, and into our adult years. These objects acquire and then store memories for us, exceeding their original purpose as they become receptacles for our past. And they acquire scars, reminding us that we can't travel through life unscathed, but we can always somehow emerge OK. In a society renowned for its throwaway culture, these objects might be old, battered, and bruised, yet we keep them still. They have more than a material worth. At the same time, however, they might not have much sentimental value--that is, they haven't survived all this time because we're overtly fond of them. They've just stayed with us.

This tape measure is one such object--and a surprising one, at that, considering I'm not especially handy nor prone to measuring things. All the marks on its body tell me a story about my past, and about who I was. I…

Bring me your math! All your math!

Saturday, October 3, 2009 12:36 AM -04:00

Tonight Stargate Universe premiered, and I wanted to share my thoughts on it. However, I feel guilty blogging about a television show when I haven't blogged about arguably more important matters, such as life.

With a month behind me, I feel good about the school year so far. I only have four courses this year: Introductory Analysis, Partial Differential Equations (PDEs), Introduction to Mathematical Probability, and Speculative Fiction. Three math courses and an English course. All of my math courses are interesting, and I was excited to take the English course the moment I saw it offered. I'll discuss it first, since the rest of the post will be about math.

My Speculative Fiction course is covering only science fiction this section--which is fine. Although I love literature in general and would gladly have taken something like Victorian Literature if this course hadn't been offered, the chance to read and discuss science fiction for credit is not something I was going to overlook! We're reading The Time Machine and The War of the Worlds, The Left Hand of Darkness, Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?, Neuromancer, Dawn, and Singularity Sky. We also have to…

In memoriam: Mug

Monday, July 6, 2009 11:41 PM -04:00

Two weeks ago to this day, I broke my favourite mug. I was heartbroken.

I don't like calling myself a materialist, but we all place sentimental value on certain items when they become important to us. Up until two years or so ago, I rotated among three or four different mugs for my tea--yes, mugs. "Cups" are for prats and amateurs. Hardcore tea-drinkers drink tea by the mug, and the really hardcore tea enthusiasts (I am not) drink it by the bowl in elaborate Japanese tea ceremonies. There's literature about this sort of thing. But I digress.

Then I started using only one mug. My mug. It just felt comfortable: perfect shape, an attractive colour and calm design on the outside, and a handle that didn't hurt my fingers. It held a good amount of tea. I'd use it for every single cup, rinsing it, washing it out with baking soda every couple of days. I treated that mug like royalty. But ultimately, I failed it.

We were sitting outside; I was reading and Mug was relaxing on the table next to me, holding some tea. I went to take a sip and was pleased to discover that Mug…

Help me listen my way through summer

Monday, June 15, 2009 1:18 AM -04:00

During the summer, I bike to work. I could pretend that this is because I want to be green and stay in shape, but it's really because I don't have consistent access to a vehicle. Although it is good exercise, I must admit.

The ride is about twenty minutes one-way. I usually listen to music on my 1 GB iPod Nano. Yeah, that's right: I haven't upgraded to the latest model. Shocking, I know. However, this usually means I end up listening to the same music over and over all summer. I suppose I could create weekly mixes or playlists to help keep things fresh, but I'm just too lazy.

So this year, I'm going to try something different: audiobooks. It furthers my goal of reading more, and it's much safer than trying to read a book while biking. Rather than purchase audiobooks, I'm going to try Librivox, a crowdsourced repository of public domain audiobooks. I've gone ahead and created a shelf at Goodreads to track my summer listening. Now only one thing remains: to what should I listen?

I'm open to suggestions. I'm considering some Victorian fiction, thinking that it may be less dry if I listen…

Push

Thursday, June 11, 2009 11:33 PM -04:00

I'm still alive.((Although chances are equally good I'm just a component of a massive set of equations which we happen to perceive as the Universe.))

Actually, when all is said and done, the wisdom teeth extraction was Not That Bad. I went in, the assistant hooked me up to various Machines That Go Ping!, gave me some nitrous oxide to relax, then stuck me with an IV. I drifted off to neverneverland. The next thing I know, the assistant is asking me to come lie down on a bed in a little recovery room. I do so and start to read my book. In about five minutes I'm fully lucid and feeling quite well.

I won't rub it in, but I had no swelling, no bruising, and no pain. I took a couple of painkillers on Friday but kicked them after Saturday morning. I had pizza--in small bites--for dinner on Friday, although I stuck with yogurt, Jello, and very soft food until Tuesday. My jaw feels a bit different when I chew, but overall it was a painless procedure.((Aside from the part where I give them a substantial chunk of money, of course.)) All that trepidation....

These past few…

Let me get this straight: time goes forward?

Thursday, June 4, 2009 2:38 PM -04:00

I intended to post this two days ago, but somehow never got around to it. You know you need to blog more when your grandparents remark on your inactivity. So let's do this!

The past few weeks have been, for the most part, uneventful (and that's good). I worked a bit more than I would like, but there's not much to be done. I've tried to use all the free time I have as wisely as possible, mostly reading. Now that the snow is gone--even though the frost warnings are not--I like to sit outside the front of the house on the nice days.

Having finished playing Mass Effect a second time, I tried playing Tomb Raider: Anniversary again. Unfortunately, the controls continued to frustrate me as I fell back into the rythym of "No, Lara, jump that way--oh, and you died." So I tried Tomb Raider: Legend instead. While it's the same engine, the levels are shorter and more varied, so I'm less frustrated with it.

I'm greatly anticipating Mass Effect 2, and a few days ago I saw the trailer for Assassin's Creed 2. I enjoyed the first Assassin's Creed, although the story was somewhat…

More narcissism and a little about you

Friday, January 23, 2009 5:08 PM -05:00

Sometime between November and ... now ... it became now. I'm not quite sure when this happened, or how it happened((If you know, please do explain it to me.)) ... but it happened. Now that it's now and no longer then, that which was must become what was going to be when then became now--which is now.

In that same spirit, the university felt it right and proper to commence a second term of classes following on the heels of the first term. I have six courses this term, three math courses, two philosophy courses, and an English course masquerading under the horribly ambiguous name of "Advanced Rhetoric."

Two of my math courses, Linear Algebra II and Group Theory, are continuations of two of the courses I took last term. Linear Algebra II is, unsurprisingly, the conclusion to Linear Algebra I. We're learning about eigenvalues, eigenvectors, and diagonalization. I'm finding this course easier than the first part, in which I struggled somewhat. Group Theory and Ring Theory are related areas of abstract algebra. "Group theory" always sounds to me like some sort of bizarre sociological phenomenon, but I assure you, it's a math course--complete with dusty chalkboard, incomprehensible symbols, and…

Further evidence that I lack common sense

Monday, January 5, 2009 7:59 PM -05:00

We all have humbling experiences that remind us we aren't as smart as we think we are. And even if we are that smart, sometimes we still lack common sense, and other times we just plain don't think.

A couple of days ago, I woke up to the a slow but inexorable cracking noise coming from the vicinity of my bedroom door. Sometimes my cat scratches at my door in order to gain entry, oblivious as to my current state of consciousness. This sound wasn't like a cat scratching, however, which was why I had trouble placing it at first. Unlike the frantic scrabbling noise of claw on wood, this had the deliberate sound of something going horribly, horribly wrong.

Several seconds later, the sight of the hooks on the back of my door falling out, taking my coat with them, confirmed this fear.

I had stupidly placed my library book bag on these hooks. When the bag is empty, this isn't a problem. Yet as I gradually fill up the bag with each book I read, it becomes heavier, adding strain to the hooks.

My brother originally installed the hooks; he was also the one who affixed them to…

Math hermit

Thursday, November 27, 2008 10:50 PM -05:00

With the first term nearing its end, here's a little review of my second year so far.

That is the best way to describe how I spend most of my time now. With three math classes, I spend nine hours a week listening to math lectures. I have three assignments due each week, so I work on those in my time between school and work. Every second week until the middle of November, I went to a practice sessions for math competitions for an hour on Fridays. Even when I'm not doing my own math, I like to help other people with their math. I am living and breathing math.

AND IT'S FRELLING AWESOME.

For those who don't understand how someone can be so excited about math, the best way I can describe it is like being closer to God. I don't necessarily believe in God, but I imagine that what I feel when I'm exploring mathematical concepts is the same feeling pious people get when they do whatever it is pious people do to feel closer to God. And math truly is the language of the universe. If God does exist, in one form or another, then understanding math…

Help me paint my bedroom!

Friday, November 21, 2008 12:39 PM -05:00

It's already been over a year since we moved into our new house. Since moving in, although I've been very happy with my room on the whole, I have wanted to do three things: get new curtains, get rid of the wallpaper, and paint the white walls.

Classes end next week, and my exams are over by December 12, which gives me a nice break before the start of next term. This is a perfect opportunity to paint my room. I need to do it soon, too, because I've already run out of space to shelve my books--and once I put up more shelves, they are never coming down.

Over the course of this year and a month, I've adjusted to the curtains. I asked one of my coworkers (who is an artist, so I figured she could suggest some good colours) what I should do with the room, and she said she liked the wallpaper. It's certainly not Mario wallpaper((For those of you who don't stalk me, I used to have Super Mario wallpaper on one wall of my room in my old house.)) ... but then again, if I don't tear it down, I only have to paint…

Everything (Will Be All Right)

Thursday, October 16, 2008 2:36 AM -04:00

I shouldn't be up this late. I'm going to bed. Really, I am. However, there is one advantage to staying up this late: infomercials.

Think what you like about infomercials. I think they're annoying, sure. But open your mind for a moment and listen to those infomercial hosts--don't listen to what they're saying, but how they're saying it. As I write this, YTV has started to air the Magic Bullet infomercial with "Mick and Mimi." It's probably a combination of his accent and his enthusiasm, but when I close my eyes and listen to Mick explain how the Magic Bullet is the answer to all my food-related problems (and some non-food-related ones), I can, for a brief moment, feel reassured that everything in this world is all right.

So praise the Flying Spaghetti monster for His noodly gift of infomercials. They are truly a blessing! :D

Addicted to inventing the future

Thursday, October 9, 2008 12:30 AM -04:00

I'm addicted to a new game called Superstruct. It's a "massively multiplayer" forecasting game. Sort of like a role-playing game, Superstruct is set in 2019 and concerns five "superthreats" that together weaken humanity enough to make our survival outside of the century unlikely. But you aren't playing as a superhero or a zombie: you're playing as you--or as you will be, in 2019.

Created by The Institute for the Future, Superstruct is more than a game. It's a collaborative problem-solving exercise. And it's an experiment. I learned about it from this week's episode of Spark, where Nora Young interviews Jane McGonigal, the game designer. I was immediately intrigued. The goal of the game is to create possible solutions for the likely threats of our near future. It's designed to be realistic. While making accurate predictions isn't always possible, the game gives us scenarios extrapolated from humanity's current global situation. Watch the videos for each superthreat; they sound very plausible.

As McGonigal explains, the game's serious. It's designed to get people to think about issues we might not otherwise consider in our daily lives. By focusing on the environment as a game, one in which people…

Ack, I'm an elitist anglophone snob

Wednesday, October 1, 2008 11:55 PM -04:00

So I was going to write this entry in French, but I discovered along the way that I've forgotten my simple past tense. This disturbs me.

I took French from grade 1 until grade 11 in school (this was before the provincial government postponed mandatory French until grade 4). It's only compulsory until grade 9, but I liked my teachers, and the courses were interesting and academic. Plus, being able to speak another language is a plus. Except I can't really speak it now, can I?

Part of me thinks I don't have an ear for languages. I excelled at reading and writing French. However, even at the height of my proficiency, I was never too hot at pronunciation or comprehension of spoken French. Nevertheless, I feel bad that I live in a bilingual country yet I only speak English. There's this whole other culture that's an integral part of my country's history and current events, yet I ignore it. I feel like an elitist anglophone snob!

This week's episode of Spark includes a segment about the French-English digital divide. That's what got me thinking about this, although it was also tonight's French-language debate amongst the federal party leaders.…

Ack, temporal displacement--not again!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008 12:30 AM -04:00

I had a bunch of nifty blog posts planned for this week, but I didn't have the time to write them. :( My weekend was chock full of work, followed by homework, leaving me with barely enough energy to drag myself to my computer, let alone write or write a blog post. This week hasn't gone much better.

That's not to say that I'm having bad days. I try not to start off my day dreading what is to come; it seems like the wrong attitude. Nevertheless, I do feel the pressure of a continuous flow of activities. I wake up, go to class, do homework, maybe read if I'm lucky. I've been working a lot. To reduce the stress and impose some order on this managed chaos, I've tried to establish as much of a routine as possible. Of course, things crop up that don't submit to that routine, and those throw my day off.

I try to consciously stop and recognize those moments of stillness that happen between each scheduled activity. This afternoon I listened to Brahms while solving differential equations, and that was quite relaxing. Really, it was. No one else was home, so I existed alone…

The hypocrisy of age ratings

Saturday, July 26, 2008 12:12 AM -04:00

Let me begin by saying that I don't support age rating of books (i.e., saying "this is for ages 8-12, this is for young adults, this is for adults..."). However, when you look at how we rate our other content by age, it seems hypocritical, does it not?

Games and movies receive official ratings that state whether or not the content of those products is suitable for a certain audience. Sometimes, the law enforces these ratings. That means if you're under 18, you can't get into an R-rated movie (without an adult). But you can go and buy a book that may have the same graphic scenes as an R-rated movie, and the cashier at the store doesn't stop you. They don't card you. (At least, they didn't card me when I was under 18.)

Seems like we have a double standard here. I know, I know: books aren't as "visual" as movies or games. Reading about mass violence or sexuality, reading a curse word, that isn't the same as seeing and hearing it. Well I think that insults the average reader's imagination. And even if it doesn't compare to graphical depictions, wouldn't a book's descriptions, if done well enough,…

This is your brain. This is your brain on books.

Thursday, July 10, 2008 1:03 AM -04:00

Every day I find myself becoming more of an autodidact whose primary goal is to propagate knowledge. Seems like a pretty worthy goal for a set of self-replicating DNA, no? After all, that's all we--everything in the universe--are: information, in one form or another.

My thirst for knowledge is perhaps my most consistent trait as far back as I can remember. I loved and continue to love to read. When I first got MSN (because I was jealous of my younger brother), the next step I took was to learn HTML so I could create my own website. From there it ... sort of snowballed :fear: (as this site evidences). The Internet is an autodidact's dream: a nearly limitless, ever-updating source of information. Thanks to Google, Wikipedia, and the Oxford English Dictionary, I can learn the answer to most questions or the definition of a word (still not sure about that whole group of groundhogs issue, however). I read sites like Lifehacker regularly, learning about subjects as varied as technology to productivity to cooking. The Internet's vast potential for education is enough to make me love it, despite of its drawbacks that some critics use to declare technology…

The normality of self

Wednesday, June 25, 2008 12:21 AM -04:00

Pretentious title, no? This is actually just something that occurred to me while having a bath (baths are great that way).

I don't know which particular set of neurons collided to produce this aspect of my personality, but I've never been one to concern myself with body image--mine or anyone else's. Physically I'm rather lucky in that I lead a sedentary lifestyle but have a high metabolism and a slim build. So I'm very tall and rather thin. If I were more physically active, I might actually be fit and perhaps develop some muscles, but those same neurons decided that I would prefer to sit in front of a glowing screen and push electrons about while writing blog entries discussing the pushing of those same electrons.

Where was I? Oh yes, body image. I've never been particularly concerned with my body image. However, since I bike to work during the summer--an increased level of physical activity--I started thinking about how this would affect my body. In the bath tub I looked at my thighs and thought, "Wow, are my thighs really that big?" :ermm: That thought made me think about body image, and I realized that I don't know if…

Please remember to breathe

Sunday, June 22, 2008 7:06 PM -04:00

If there were one thing I would change about myself, it is the fact that I lack the ability to inhabit the moment. I am constantly and consistently thinking only of the future--not necessarily the distant future, more usually the immediate, next-couple-of-hours-or-days future. And I find that this drains me more than is necessary.

Summer is supposed to be time off from school to relax, but present-day economics throws a wrench in that model. Students instead usually must arm themselves with resumes and hunt out at least one (if not more) summer jobs in order to pay for schooling, residence, food, gas, and whatever expensive habits they have acquired since they had enough money to buy expensive habit-forming items.

I'm one of the lucky ones. I don't have to pay for schooling, residence, or food. All I need to take care of are my expensive habits,((i.e., buying DVDs and miscellaneous computer stuff)) and sometimes gas, although my dad is pretty generous in that area. Otherwise, I'm just saving my money for when I will need to pay for school, when I'll need to start renting an apartment or put a down payment on a house or anyone of those expenses…

Wisdom tooth turmoil

Thursday, April 10, 2008 12:15 AM -04:00

Yesterday I had a consultation with an oral surgeon regarding the possible extraction of my wisdom teeth. Why possible? Well, I'm not sure if I need it--or if I want to do it.

My wisdom teeth have fully grown into my mouth and don't cause me any pain, unlike some people, so I count myself lucky in that regard. Nevertheless, both my dentist and my oral surgeon have recommended I get them removed. There are some compelling reasons to do this. Firstly, it's possible they'll crowd my jaw in painful ways in the future (I didn't really follow this part of the discussion, so I'm not sure if they are crowding my jaw right now or not). Secondly, if I ever need to get jaw surgery, my wisdom teeth will have to be removed anyway. Lastly, the teeth do make it harder for me to brush and floss, which can lead to oral hygiene complications--I already have a cavity in one wisdom tooth.

So with all of this compelling data, why am I ambivalent? To put it simply, I don't like the idea of surgery. I've never had surgery before, and I'd rather avoid it unless it's really necessary. The…

36 days: The countdown begins

Thursday, April 3, 2008 12:05 AM -04:00

My life seems to be full of countdowns lately. Two days until the premiere of Battlestar Galactica. Five days until classes end. Eight days until my calculus exam. And so on. Now I've just added one more: 36 days until I fly to Ohio to meet someone I know only online.

As someone who spends most of his time online, I've come to know many people whom I've never met in my offline life. Some of them I consider close friends. I'm sure that many people, particularly those in my demographic, interact other the Internet with foreigners all the time. We are a global village, as Marshall McLuhan might say. Still, going to a foreign country (yes, America is a foreign country!) to meet an online friend is a big step. It's increasingly common despite the pervasive fear of Internet predators. I'm not going to meet up with "sparky004m" from a faceless channel on some yuppie IRC network, however. That would probably be asking for trouble. Sorry, sparky.

Lauren and I met on deviantART. I used to be quite active there until school ate up my time and I devoted my writing time to novels instead of short…

There must be magic

Friday, February 22, 2008 12:51 AM -05:00

Now, what I want is, Facts. Teach these boys and girls nothing but Facts. Facts alone are wanted in life. Plant nothing else, and root out everything else. You can only form the minds of reasoning animals upon Facts: nothing else will ever be of any service to them. This is the principle on which I bring up my own children, and this is the principle on which I bring up these children. Stick to Facts, sir!

Mr. Gradgrind, Hard Times by Charles Dickens.

Sorry Mr. Gradgrind, but I refuse to believe in a universe based entirely on fact. The universe can't be based only on fact and science. If it were, why would we have emotions? Why would we feel terrible half the time and ecstatic the other? Why put ourselves through so much pain and trauma? If the universe were based on fact, we wouldn't need this. We could be moist robots going about with logic and reason. But we aren't. And to me, that means that there's something out there logic and reason cannot explain. Our emotions are our ways of navigating that which we can't quantify. And that's magic.

I had an awesome day today.…

Oh Internet, how I miss you so!

Saturday, October 20, 2007 11:45 PM -04:00

Although it's only been two days since we moved into the new house, and we had Internet by 1 PM on Friday, I still feel so disconnected. This really puts my online activities into perspective: I spend most of my waking hours online. If I'm at home, I'm basically online. I may be doing something else, either on the computer or something completely different, but I'm still online if people want to talk to me. For the past two days, however, we've been busy unpacking, cleaning, and organizing. I've spent so much of my "free" time offline that I feel disconnected. :D

So yes, I have no life. I don't want one, but it's good to know for sure. I miss you guys terribly. Yes, all of you, including the people who IM me for tech support (darn you) and the people who send me spam that tell me how to get free copies of products I don't want. And I guess I miss those of you who like to talk to me, poke me to do things, or tolerate me in general.

As soon as my offline activities return to some sort of "normal" operations, I will be back.…

The times, they are a changin'

Saturday, September 1, 2007 2:26 AM -04:00

Six days and I enter a whole new world. The summer went by really fast. Yesterday my friend Cortney left for the University of Guelph; today Vivike leaves for OCAD. I'm sure they'll have lots of fun down in Southern Ontario. :) And I will miss them terribly. :bye:

I'm pretty much ready for university--sort of. It'll be an interesting few weeks, just getting into the new routine and figuring everything out. Once I've done that I think I will be okay.

VSNS Lemon 4 is pretty much finished. I want to redo my entire site before I release it, but it doesn't look like that will happen. However, I definitely want to put out more rigorous documentation with this release. So look for the beta release sometime next week, along with complete documentation. Site upgrade should happen sometime the week after, and 4.0 final should be out by the end of the month unless an unforeseen number of bugs get discovered. ^_^

Bear necessities redux

Monday, August 20, 2007 10:03 PM -04:00

I never expected to write a sequel to my previous bear-themed post. Then again, I never expected this.

Today I bought a new bike (since my other one was stolen two months ago :dry: ). It's a good bike that will get me back and forth to school and work so I don't have to drive all the time! Anyway. That isn't the story. The story begins when I biked home from the bike shop. I came down my street, but when I got to the block on which I live, there were police cars parked at the corner and neighbours standing on the sidewalk watching something.

A baby black bear had climbed up a tree on the corner! And I have pictures. :D I also got some video, which I posted on YouTube. It's long and not that exciting--they just tranquilize the bear and then put him in the MNR bear trap. But it's mildly odd, considering that we live in a fairly urban part of the city.

Ironic, eh? We get bears near the gallery all the time--in fact, the MNR set up a trap outside the gallery on Sunday--but I never actually saw…

My grammar sense is tingling

Thursday, May 31, 2007 7:23 PM -04:00

GM sign Yesterday was a bad grammar day. I kept on noticing so many little grammar mistakes everywhere I went, and it really annoyed me. By far, however, the largest one was pointed out to me by my coworker--this sign on the front of our GM dealership.

Take a moment to look at it. "Last year GM more than doubled the sales of it's nearest competitor." Firstly, there's the glaringly obvious mistake: "it's" means it is. In context of the sentence, I believe they meant to use "its". This is a common mistake for reasons that escape me--how hard is it to memorize when to use its and when to use it's? :wacko:

Now read the message again, slowly. What do you think it is saying? GM has more than doubled the sales of its competitor? To me, that sounds like GM has more than doubled its competitor's sales, which is to say, its competitor's sales have been doubled because of GM. So now GM is helping its competition? :ermm: Right.

So I decided that the only thing to do was to ask about it. Today my friend Alex and I went to the GM dealership and asked about the sign.…

I guess Facebook is good for something after all

Saturday, April 14, 2007 4:06 PM -04:00

Turns that like the Dark Side has a Light Side, so too does Facebook have a cream filling at the centre. (Tune in for more mixed metaphors at 11!)

Through our mutual friend--the Oracle of English herself--Ms. Sukalo, I've reconnected with two friends who I knew way back before I moved to this side of town, back when I went to Algonquin, back in kindergarten and grade 1! Now, I have a terrible memory, especially when it comes to names and faces, but I certainly remember the twins Cassie and Carly. ^_^ On the cool scale from 0 ("heat-death of the universe") to 1000 ("The Colbert Report"), this is a solid 923 (about the same as "being John Cleese")! And if you have no clue what that means, don't worry.

Although that reminds me of an interesting sidebar. Yesterday in English we were discussing the end of The Shipping News, which is seemingly a "happy ending". Our teacher put a quotation from E. Annie Proulx, the author, on the overhead and bid us to discuss it in groups. One of my friends, Andrew, quantified Quoyle's happiness on an interesting graph that he put on the board, concluding…

Wagner

Wednesday, January 18, 2006 11:43 PM -05:00

The perfect music for meditating on heavy issues of philosophical import. :wub:

I think too much. It really makes my life more complicated than it needs to be.

Life moves pretty fast

Wednesday, July 20, 2005 8:00 PM -04:00

Today, it feels like I got a lot accomplished while at the same time I did next to nothing. Or is it that I feel like I did a lot while accomplishing next to nothing?

I went biking with my brother down to the university and back. It was an interesting experience. I'll probably be biking to university in two years. Cheaper than driving if those gas prices keep on going up.

This blog now has an RSS feed that I cobbled together, and which I'm still trying to badger to work. I'm also working on setting up a Coppermine photo gallery. I'm working heavily on improving my blog, but now I'm going to take a break, maybe get some writing done.

Grandparents in town

Monday, July 18, 2005 8:00 PM -04:00

Well, my paternal grandparents arrived from Waterloo on Wednesday to visit with people they know from Thunder Bay. My brother and I got to see them a few times. On Thursday we went for lunch with them and my Uncle George (who is in fact more like my Great-Great-Uncle; he is 92). I had fish and chips, ordering 4 pieces of fish thinking they would be tiny and being confronted with several large pieces. I ate them anyway.

We got to see them again on Saturday, where we went fishing on a place called Sunshine near Kakabeka Falls. I didn't catch any fish, but it was worth a try, and fun, eh. :D

On Monday we went out to their friends' camp on Island Lake. We went swimming, my brother did a little more fishing, and then went out to the island on the lake; I paddled there in a canoe and he took a paddleboat. I enjoy canoeing. There was a dog called Cue who had accompanied us to the island in the motorboat with the smaller children, but decided to return to the shore via the canoe. Not only did I overcome my fear of water, but I…

Visit to the orthodontist

Wednesday, June 8, 2005 8:00 PM -04:00

I went to the orthodontist today, first time for everything. Apparently I have an underbite, which occurs where my lower jaw protrudes out from my face slightly more than my lower jaw. Mine is very slight, only about a millimetre, so apparently it isn't much to worry about yet. The treatment would be jaw surgery in which a portion of my lower jaw is cut, removed, and then the remainer is slid back to correct the profile. I would have to wear braces for about a year prior to the surgery, then about six months after. I'm too young to have the surgery done, however, it would have to be done once I stop growing, so they are going to call me back in about a year to see how my underbite fares. If it doesn't get worse and I'm happy with it, I don't need to get the surgery; this is good, I don't like the idea of surgery. . . .

My first job

Monday, December 20, 2004 1:00 AM -05:00

I took down the Currently Reading section of the About Me page because I read too quickly to keep it up-to-date. In other website news, hopefully my webhost will now be stable.

In real life, I got a job. I am sorting files and the contents of several boxes stored in the basement area used by the law firm where my dad works (he's a lawyer). It is technically my first job, and my first day "on the job" was today. It was okay . . . although slightly depressing in the long run.

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