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Headshot of me wearing red lipstick Kara Babcock

Will do English work for a cell phone

I've learned a life lesson today: People will give you cell phones if you take English classes.

Go back and read that sentence. Yeah. Crazy, eh? You see, my brother is in grade 8 and shall be going into grade 9, so he has his option sheets for next year. He originally intended on taking several applied-level courses (if you don't live in Ontario, you probably don't understand this part, but you'll get the gist of it). We managed to talk him into everything at the academic level, save for English. My parents finally got him to take academic English (on the theory that it's easier to drop down into applied than it is to move into academic) by promising to get him a cell phone.

Society triumphs again. I think.

So yeah. My plan is pretty simple: send me a cell phone and I shall do your English homework. Not that I actually want a cell phone (it's not like I'd use it). But the money you lose buying me a cell phone can be considered the just punishment for even thinking about getting someone else to do your work for you. Only politicians can get away with that.