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Headshot of me with long hair, pink lip stick, light makeup Kara Babcock

Easter Bunny fired

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The city of St. Paul, Minnesota, announced yesterday that it would fire the Easter Bunny, effective immediately. They were removed at the request of Tyrone Terrill, St. Paul's human rights director. His reasoning was that the Easter Bunny may offend non-Christians.

With the future employment of the Easter Bunny now in doubt, many wonder what lies in store next for this furry fellow. According to an anonymous source, the Easter Bunny "may have been subpoenaed" by the U.S. government and will be held in Guantanamo Bay indefinitely while being investigated for terrorist connections.

"They're white, and furry, and have beady little eyes," says Anya Jenkins. "You can't trust them!"

The Easter Bunny's lawyer has an entirely different view of the subject. "This is a clear-cut case of animal rights!" he says. "I'm going to take this all the way to take this all the way to the Supreme Court."

St. Paul could not be reached for comment.