Kara Babcock

I read, write, code, and knit.

Weird

Note: This post was written before I realized I was trans and/or before I came out online. As such, I might refer to myself as a man or use my deadname. Please read my name policy to understand how you should refer to me.

I feel weird. Probably because it's 2:36 and I should be in bed (and I will as soon as I finish blogging, which is my last task today apparently).

Probably also because today has been this emotional roller-coaster. I woke up feeling sore due to a very pained back, which plagued me throughout the day. Then I alternated between lethargic and hyper, which made for an interesting Friday. I was apathetic in English, couldn't focus in biology, too energetic for drama (which was very low-key today) and just felt blah in physics.

I felt pretty good on the way home and at work. I was engaged in what I was doing, I guess, so I didn't take time to think. When I got home, I was so wiped and drained that I wanted to do nothing. I think that's when the roller coaster started downhill.

I picked up around 9 because This Hour Has 22 Minutes had an absolutely brilliant episode, with several mock-Liberal attack ads. But as the night (and now morning) went on, I feel less satisfied than I did earlier today. Earlier I was quite optimistic. Now I feel very insecure and unsure. :unsure:

I can only hope that my weekend will pick up enough to avoid any more roller-coasterism. I've decided that if I avoid thinking about school as much as possible, I'll lessen the stress on me.

Maybe getting a good morning's sleep will also pick me up. :-/ It's not that I'm doing badly, and I don't think I'm depressed. I'm just very, very, very confused and uncertain.