Kara Babcock

I read, write, code, and knit.

2 Articles Tagged with “asexuality”

  1. Queerness as context

    Knowing I was ace didn’t automatically mean I identified as queer. It took me years of learning (and unlearning) to embrace the larger community.

    I’ve pretty much always known I’m ace (asexual) even before I knew the label for it. But for a long time after I knew the label, I didn’t really know (or understand) that means I’m a member of the queer community.

    Partly this happened because asexuality and aromanticism are often excluded. I guess we’re super threatening or something, running around helter-skelter all not being attracted to all y’all. Oooh, so scary. And this exclusion and erasure means that LGBT identities are quite visible as “queer” but other identities, not so much. (That being said, you’re probably aware that even those four letters have fights sometimes—there are people who think it should be LGB, and there are people who think it should be LGT, because biphobia is a real problem in our community too!) So, growing up, when I was exposed to examples of queerness and Pride, it was always about an overt performance of gender and sexual diversity that didn’t reflect my experience.

    My personal experience of my asexuality has been absence of sexuality. I say this because there are many diverse experiences of asexuality. Some asexual people, unfortunately, do not come to an understanding of themselves until later in…

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  2. Ace in transition

    It’s Asexuality Awareness Week, and I want to talk about how coming out to myself as transgender has affected my understanding of my asexuality. Incidentally, while I’ve written blog posts for arospec awareness week (in February), this seems to be my first post for ace week!

    If you want to learn more about the basics of asexuality, the Trevor Project has some very good starting points. Also, my friend Becky interviewed me all about being aromantic and asexual for an episode of our podcast, so you can hear more about asexuality from my point of view!

    The short form? Being asexual means I don’t experience sexual attraction to anyone, of any gender.

    Coming Out

    Coming out as asexual was, for me, a very different experience from coming out as trans. I knew I was different by the end of high school, and I embraced the label of asexual sometime during university. When I moved back to Canada, after 2 years of teaching in England, I gradually became aware that asexuality falls under the LGBTQ+ umbrella, and I started to explore what that means for me. I put “asexual” (and eventually “aro/ace”) in my Twitter bio and began…

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