We surrender

Dear Kellogg's:

On behalf of the People of Earth, I hereby formally surrender to you. Your evil scheme, as much as it pains me to admit it, has worked. We solemnly promise to purchase as much All-Bran cereal as you command, oh master, on the sole condition that you stop using William Shatner in your commercials. Usage of Shatner as an All-Bran spokesperson represents reckless endangerment of society, civilization, and The World As We Know It.

Thanks.