Blog: Articles filed under commercials

I shouldn’t be up this late. I’m going to bed. Really, I am. However, there is one advantage to staying up this late: infomercials.

Think what you like about infomercials. I think they’re annoying, sure. But open your mind for a moment and listen to those infomercial hosts—don’t listen to what they’re saying, but how they’re saying it. As I write this, YTV has started to air the Magic Bullet infomercial with “Mick and Mimi.” It’s probably a combination of his accent and his enthusiasm, but when I close my eyes and listen to Mick explain how the Magic Bullet is the answer to all my food-related problems (and some non-food-related ones), I can, for a brief moment, feel reassured that everything in this world is all right.

So praise the Flying Spaghetti monster for His noodly gift of infomercials. They are truly a blessing!

What’s with this sudden obsession about going green?

I’m not talking about environmentalism either. I’m talking about the new trend to infuse green tea into every possible drink. The Lipton green iced tea I understand (and enjoy). But Canada Dry green tea ginger ale?! Quoi? And all those specialty brands, like that Arizona chilled green tea (which I think tastes horrible)… it just seems like someone’s been planning this, as if there is some sort of invisible hand in the market determining the latest fads.

I know green tea is cool—after all, I drink it. It contains antioxidants and whatnot, so even if it isn’t a panacea like some claim, it is good for you. Yet now that it’s the trendy new drink, the contrarian part of me can’t help but feel bad for drinking green tea. I feel like I’m part of the bandwagon. No wait, that’s not accurate. I feel like I was napping comfortably in the wagon until one day, when it was stolen from its parking spot, kidnapping me in the process.

Here’s a cereal aside for you today regarding advertising.

Lately I’ve been seeing a lot of commercials for “Diamond Shreddies”, which are apparently just like regular Shreddies, only they‘re diamond-shaped. For those of you familiar with Shreddies but not this commercial, I’ll give you a moment to visualize the difference.

Got it? Yeah, they‘re exactly the same. This commercial is very clever, because it’s one of those “it’s so dumb it has to be a joke” jokes; the true joke is on the poor sod who does think there’s a difference.

This morning I absently looked up at the TV while a Mini-Wheats commercial was on. That jingle is just annoying. And really, whose idea was it to try to sell me cereal by having an anthropomorphic weaved wheat guy dance and sing about how tasty he is? I don’t know about you, but I’m like Arthur Dent—I don’t fancy eating something that talks back to me. Well, that’s marketing for you.